Stress Triggers Sexual Addiction: 5 Steps To Fighting Back
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The addiction to pornography has now become an epidemic and recovery can be a long process filled with many setbacks. Men across the globe speak to this reality as they continue to fight for their freedom. And though it’s a long journey, filled with painful moments, there are steps you can take that will help you stand strong in the face of temptation!
A widely accepted and critical step in overcoming your addiction is recognizing moments when you are more susceptible to give in, and then being prepared for them when they hit you. In some ways, these moments are “tricks of the devil that come against us on the evil day (Ephesians 6:10-18).” Paul tells us that they are coming when we will not expect it, but we can be prepared by putting on the armor when they do!
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Transitions in your life create moments when you are tired, or maybe even exhausted. Let’s consider moments when you are stressed and how stress can trick you into giving in and ways you can fight back when it tries.
Moments often turn into long periods of stress escalating into “trying seasons”. As a result, these seasons are when your emotional and physical strength is stretched to the point that you become more susceptible to porn’s pull!
Let’s take a look at these “trying seasons” in hopes of identifying what it looks like and then how to respond to it. Doing so should help you prepare to stand strong against them when they come after you!
The Trying Season
The American Psychological Association reports that nearly 70% of us believe stress has an impact on our physical well-being. But do we really understand the impact of stress on our mental and emotional health? While stress is the norm for many, highly stressful seasons of life are the experience of every one of us. These seasons are when one becomes particularly vulnerable and many times are tempted to give in!
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We make ourselves vulnerable because of how we used to behave during such times. One’s porn-addiction tends to serve as an opiate that numbs us to the fatigue and the emotional pain we are feeling during these long seasons of trying moments and taxing days! Therefore, since you used to act this way, the old pathways try to convince you it’s time to take them again. Consider, for example, how a stress-filled work environment can impact your emotions and lead to a “trying season”. Most of us spend more time at work than we do anywhere else.
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Workplace Stress
When you are at work, formation and/or deformation are happening all the time. A toxic work environment will always impact your sense of well-being. If you are in a highly stressful work environment, then your temptation to act out is going to, at times, be greater because of the environment.
Maybe you have worked hard and yet were passed over for a promotion or pay raise. The result is that your energies go unrecognized by your colleagues, which gives you a sense of frustration, anger, and maybe even bitterness.
In such moments, internal stress is building. Intuitively, we begin to entertain thoughts like these: “Wow, what is this going to do for my career in the long run? What’s my wife going to think about this? I told my children we were putting in a pool, now what? How will this impact my relationship with my colleagues?”
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As stress builds anxiety increases. When anxiety increases, frustration takes hold. As frustration takes hold, then conflict – both internal and external – grows. And when conflict grows, stress becomes the norm.
Myth: Porn Relieves Stress
When stress becomes the norm, we sense a growing need to escape reality and relieve all the tension. It’s then easy to fall prey to porn’s opportunism. It becomes easy to click on that web page that offers total satisfaction with very little investment. Perhaps we linger in areas of town where we normally would not even pause for a second. Or we let a simple gaze at another person turn into a prolonged stare that opens the door to lust.
You get the picture. We empower porn’s control in the midst of “trying seasons” and stressful realities.
“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” – James 1:14-15
Take Hope
There are health-creating steps we can take before giving in to our own desires and running to porn, compounding our stress:
1. Awaken To And Become Aware Of Internal Stressors
Pause a few times a day, and then at least once or twice a week to reflect on how you feel. It’s helpful to identify the emotions stirring within your soul. Am I angry? Am I sad? Why am I nervous? Why am I concerned, etc.?
2. Admit That You Can’t Do It Alone
Get into a community of brothers or sisters who are in the fight and can support you!
3. Accept Responsibility For Your Emotions
It’s easy to blame others for your feelings. This rarely helps. If you cannot accept responsibility for your emotions, then you can’t take positive steps toward health.
4. Ask A Friend For Help and/or Counsel
The journey out of addiction is not a journey you can take alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, spouse, brother, sister, counselor, pastor, mentor, coach.
5. Alter The Trajectory Of Your Thought Life
This is crucial. You simply have to ‘get out of your head.’ That ongoing conversation of how everyone is against you is as unhelpful as it is untrue. Once you nurture and cultivate a toxic thought-life, you are setting yourself up for addictive behavior. Begin to speak truth and spend time with those who will speak truth to and with you! Find a program like the Conquer Series to help you alter the trajectory of your thought life!
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Be Aware
Becoming aware of the trying and stressful seasons is critical if you are going to break free from porn’s pull.
The Conquer Series is a compelling 10-week course proven to help millions of individuals on their journey to healing from sexual sin. Using Biblical and scientific evidence, individuals will learn why trying harder does not work. You’ll learn the first step in renewing the mind, which is understanding how watching porn rewires the brain.
As you complete weekly assignments, you can begin to identify your “trying season” so that you are prepared for battle. And you’ll be able to combat the lies you’ve been led to believe through finding your identity in Christ.
If you’re ready to fight for yourself and your freedom, now is the time to respond.