Are you experiencing a lack of intimacy in your marriage? Soul Refiner expert and presenter of the <a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=1">Warpath</a> and <a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=3">Stronger Together</a> series, Dr. Doug Weiss, coined the term, Intimacy Anorexia, to describe the silent marriage killer that affects millions of couples around the world. Intimacy Anorexia is the sin of withholding intimacy from one’s partner - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Dealing with a spouse who is intimacy anorexic feels like emotional abusive.&nbsp;

Ten signs your partner could be an intimacy anorexic:

1. Withholds love According to Dr. Doug Weiss, to withhold love is to “not give love to your spouse the way you know how to, or how they have asked to be loved.” Each person has a different love language, whether it be words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, etc. (Read more in the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman). Intimacy anorexics typically know how their spouse wants to be loved, yet refuse to meet their need, leaving their spouse feeling empty, lonely, and not worthy of love.

2. Suppresses praise Intimacy anorexics withhold from praising their spouse privately or publicly. In most cases, the anorexic will control their spouse by using feelings of inadequacy and being of little importance to their lives.

3. Sexless marriage One of the most obvious signs of intimacy anorexia is the withholding of sex. Weeks or months passing without any sexual encounter is a strong indicator of intimacy anorexia.

4. Spiritual suppression Often the intimacy anorexic is super religious but has zero or little spiritual sharing or connection with the spouse. They may even be pastors or have a position in church, but at home they offer little or no spiritual leadership, never praying alone with their spouse, or sharing their faith.

Related:&nbsp; <a href="https://blog.soulrefiner.com/the-impact-of-sin-on-future-generations">The Impact of Sin on Future Generations</a>

5. Always too busy or distracted Your partner keeps themselves so busy they have little time for you, filling their time with chores, the children, projects, work, etc. They also use technology to avoid their spouse through endless hours on social media, news, gaming, etc.

6. Plays the blame game Every issue in the marriage has zero to do with them and everything to do with their partner. They take no ownership in any problems.

7. Inability to connect emotionally The intimacy anorexic is someone that is unwilling or unable to share their feelings with their spouse. They are unable to connect in an emotionally intimate way, and the spouse feels more like a roommate than a loved partner.

8. Constant criticism The anorexic constantly puts down or criticizes their spouse at every opportunity, whether over something large or small. They use criticism to keep their spouse at arms length.

9. Anger and the silent treatment They will use anger or even silence as a weapon to punish or push their spouse away. For example, they may not speak to their spouse for days or weeks over something insignificant, or they explode in anger over the smallest things to control and push their spouse away.

Related:&nbsp; <a href="https://blog.soulrefiner.com/the-silent-marriage-killer">The Silent Marriage Killer</a>

10. Money manipulator This is one of the lower signs of an intimacy anorexic, but when it is present it manifests itself with might. The anorexic, with this characteristic, uses money to control the spouse by keeping them in the dark when it comes to finances; like a parent giving their child an allowance, they won’t allow the spouse to have access to the bank account or make financial decisions.

This pattern of withholding has permeated the Church. It is so damaging that it is destroying marriages. Is it destroying yours? Despite this laundry list of negative characteristics, there is hope. There are sad factors that contribute to forming intimacy anorexia in a person. For instance, intimacy anorexia is a common issue among those who have struggled with sexual and pornography addiction, or those who experienced abuse, abandonment and chronic neglect in childhood.&nbsp;

Related:&nbsp; <a href="https://blog.soulrefiner.com/is-pornography-and-sex-addiction-a-reality-or-just-an-excuse">Is Pornography and Sex Addiction a Reality or Just an Excuse?</a>

You don’t need to secretly suffer in a sexless and loveless marriage. Your life and marriage can be restored. Our <a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=3">Stronger Together</a> series, exclusively on SoulRefiner.com, provides you with the knowledge and tools to reclaim your marriage. You’ll learn to:

Go to <a href="https://soulrefiner.com/">SoulRefiner.com</a> to start your healing today!

Wives often feel emotionally abused when they can’t connect emotionally with their spouse. Here are 10 signs your spouse might be an intimacy anorexic.

Did you have a hard time connecting emotionally with your spouse?  Do they withhold love and affection?

10 Signs Your Partner is an Intimacy Anorexic

It’s difficult to quantify the impact pornography is having on the world.&nbsp; It’s an elusive industry that hides the men who sit in executive positions at these multi-billion dollar companies.&nbsp; No one knows how many porn websites exist, but over time many of the websites have been bought up by a handful of companies.

Porn users are escalating into more graphically extreme content, which is forcing producers to keep up with the changing demand. Even as pornography becomes more extreme, it is becoming more mainstream. Phone companies, cable companies, hotel chains, search engines and now investment bankers all want part of the pie.&nbsp; But who owns the largest piece?

Related:&nbsp; <a href="https://blog.soulrefiner.com/major-pornography-website-suffers-tremendous-blow">Major Pornography Website Suffers Tremendous Blow</a>

There’s one media titan in the porn industry that stands above all others. He owns the most popular porn website, but is barely known.

Bernard Bergemar is a shadowy businessman who is reportedly the owner of MindGeek, a Luxemborg-based conglomerate behind the most popular porn sites such as Pornhub, YouPorn and Brazzers.

Imagine no one knowing anything about Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg, or Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, and not being able to find photos of them online.

MindGeek is now the target of at least five lawsuits, including an international class-action suit in Canada, which has not yet been certified.

The suits allege that the company profited from non-consensual and child abuse content, even though it had a responsibility to ensure all its content was legal.Related:&nbsp; <a href="https://blog.soulrefiner.com/senator-ask-doj-to-investigate-pornhub-for-allegedly-streaming-videos-of-rape-victims">Senator Asks DOJ to Investigate PornHub for Allegedly Streaming Videos of Rape Victims</a>

It’s no wonder Bernard remains well hidden.&nbsp; Dozens of women have accused MindGeek of profiting from their abuse.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Pornhub receives 115 million visits per day.  That’s more than Netflix and Amazon.

PornHub is accused of facilitating and streaming the abuse of women.&nbsp; The website is replete with abusive imagery that saturates the internet, but we still know almost nothing about the men behind this industry.

In December 2020, the New York Times columnist Nick Kristof published a bombshell report called ‘The Children of Pornhub’.&nbsp;

Kristof alleged that Pornhub was saturated with rape videos, that it monetised child rape content, revenge porn and racist content. The details in the story were hard to read.

Related: &nbsp;<a href="https://blog.soulrefiner.com/major-porn-site-fails-to-protect-known-victims">Major Porn Site Fails to Protect Known Victims</a>

Shockingly, MindGeek also reportedly has some better-known financial backers — including JPMorgan Chase, Cornell University and Fortress Investment Group, a New York-based investment management firm.

They were among 125 investors who loaned the company $362 back in 2011, when it was known as Manwin and looking to expand, the FT reported.

For a man who exploits millions of women worldwide through pornographic content, isn’t it ironic Bernard Bergemar values his own privacy with such high regard?&nbsp;

Then again, if you play with fire you will eventually get burned - in this case, quite literally. The mogul’s executive at MindGeek, Feras Antoon, got his home set on fire by arson in April 2021.&nbsp; The $19 million home, which was still under construction, was burnt to the ground.

However, that’s small in comparison to the millions of homes destroyed by pornography.

It’s time to shut down super-predator site Pornhub and hold the executives behind it accountable.

The Conquer Series, unrivaled in its scope and authority, lays out the process to permanently stop watching porn with proven strategies and tools that have helped millions of men in 100+ nations find lasting freedom.&nbsp; It's the number 1 tool to help men find and stay free. Start your journey to quit porn for good. Watch the Conquer Series only at SoulRefiner.com.

Who owns PornHub?  Bernard Bergemar is a shadowy businessman who is reportedly the owner of MindGeek. Here is what we know.

Who’s the shadowy businessman behind the world’s most popular porn website?  Here’s what we know.

Who Owns the World’s Most Popular Porn Website?

Forgiving doesn’t come easy, especially when you’ve experienced the gut-wrenching pain of betrayal. It’s especially difficult when the offender shows no remorse or willingness to change. In order to benefit from the healing power of forgiveness, you have to shift your perspective. Forgiveness doesn’t release the offender. Forgiveness releases you from its grip of destruction.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

The neuroscience of forgiveness reveals that those who don’t forgive will experience deteriorating effects on the body, mind, and soul. Holding onto unforgiveness creates a brain response, causing heart issues, digestive problems, inability to regulate emotions, joint pain, autoimmune diseases, and a myriad other physiological and psychological issues.

On the flip side, studies show powerful neurological and psychological benefits to forgiving. For example, data from one study shows the neurochemical, oxytocin (also known as the “love” hormone), interacting with the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for our fight or flee response. Oxytocin inhibits the amygdala from triggering the fight-or-flight response by interrupting a particular warning mechanism that causes a fear response. In other words, the love hormone, oxytocin can overpower the fear center of the brain. To forgive is to choose love like Christ. Simply forgiving inhibits fear and allows us to learn to trust again. Trust is the key in healing relationships.

Forgiveness also activates and heals areas of our brain responsible for empathy and clarity of thoughts. It improves our overall health, lowering blood pressure, enhancing our ability to regulate emotions, better heart health, and so much more.

Forgiveness does not mean that you excuse the sin. However, by accepting the betrayal was not your fault and understanding more about sexual addictions, you will help reframe your mindset. Watch the Conquer Series and Warpath on SoulRefiner.com to learn more about sexual addiction and a biblical and scientific approach to renewing the mind.

Let your own personal healing become your focus. There is a time and season for anger and grief, but make it a priority not to set up base camp there. Determine that you will nurse your wounds for a season as you move into healing. When you stay focused on your healing, you will spend less energy on feeling resentful and holding onto the pain.

#3 Be intentional. Forgiveness doesn’t “just” happen.

If you wait on a “feeling” to forgive you may be waiting for a lifetime. Feelings are faulty and fleeting. Forgiveness will take a disciplined response. Tell yourself daily you choose to forgive and find an opportunity to put it into practice.

Ask God daily to give you strength to forgive. He alone has the power to do the impossible, including giving you the fortitude to pray for your offender. Probably one of the hardest things to do in life, but a powerful action that will bring you closer to the heart of Christ and fortify your healing journey.

God commissioned us to forgive as a mechanism to protect and heal our mind. Who else to know the fine details of the brain than the Grand Architect, Himself? When you make a conscious decision to seek a path of forgiveness, you are ingesting the very elixir God designed to heal and repair your mind.

Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

Forgiving doesn’t come easy, especially when you’ve experienced the gut-wrenching pain of betrayal. It’s especially difficult when the offender shows no remorse or willingness to change...

4 Steps To Practicing Forgiveness

Business Insider&nbsp;&nbsp;tells us what all that dusty gym equipment already knew… a full 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February.

With nearly seven out of ten men in the church viewing porn on a regular basis according to a Pure Desire survey of churches, there is a desperate need for men to understand the battle they are up against.

Many churchgoing men who love the Lord and desire to serve Him are looking for a way out.

Yet, just as statistics show, most men who make a New Year’s resolution to never watch porn again find themselves back on the same websites in no time.

That’s because of this simple truth: Willpower won’t fix it!

It’s not about loving Jesus more, praying more, or being more disciplined. &nbsp;

It’s not a battle of the will… The battle is for the brain.

Do It the Right Way in 2020… Start a Process

Trying harder only makes things worse, it turns out.

Each time you try to stop watching porn but fall back again, it increases the level of shame you carry, perpetuating the cycle – you go back to porn to medicate the shame you’re feeling.

Committing to a process takes time because there’s no quick fix.

It’s more than just saying “I will no longer watch porn” because it’s really not about porn.

By accessing the internal pharmacy in your brain, you are using porn to medicate the feeling of worthlessness you have down in your soul.

Powerful neurotransmitters such as dopamine are released when you watch porn, which make you feel much better… temporarily.

A little later on – maybe even while still shutting your computer down – the feeling of shame sets in again and the cycle restarts.

And that pattern of behavior is very hard to break.

Dr. Tim Jennings is a neuropsychologist who appears in the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>. The&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>&nbsp;is a powerful small group study helping men find freedom from pornography. Jennings explains, “Any type of repetitive behavior will create trails in our brain that are going to fire on an automatic sequence.”&nbsp;

The result is years of bondage. This is how you can love the Lord, but still be trapped in bondage to porn.

You must renew your mind by establishing new pathways to healthy sexuality.

The&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>, a powerful cinematic series offering proven strategies and daily practical tools to conquer pornography and find freedom, helps men retrain a brain that’s hooked on porn.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Instead of continuing on the “try harder” path (that is doomed to failure), former Marine Fighter Pilot and Pastor Dr. Ted Roberts, host of the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>, will teach you how to biblically renew your mind and find freedom.

Dr. Roberts has a 90% success rate in helping thousands of men break free from pornography and sexual addiction.

Thousands of churches are stepping forward and offering the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>&nbsp;to give their men a fighting chance in the battle against sexual sin.

You can join nearly 1,000,000 men in over 70 countries who have learned to move beyond “not watching porn” to living a transformed life with the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>.

Business Insider  tells us what all that dusty gym equipment already knew… a full 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. With nearly seven out of ten men in the church viewing porn on a regular basis...

How to Quit Porn in 2020

Following years of child abuse and sex trafficking allegations, one of the world’s largest pornography websites is suffering major consequences.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Over the past couple of years,&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/major-porn-site-fails-to-protect-known-victims/" target="_blank">Pornhub has repeatedly made headlines</a>.&nbsp; First, there was the case of the 15-year-old girl who was rescued after nearly sixty videos of her sexual abuse was uploaded to Pornhub.&nbsp; Then there was the discovery of videos featuring a 14-year-old who had been brutally kidnapped, raped, and stabbed.&nbsp; And in another incident, a 27-year-old uploaded pornographic content featuring a 16-year-old.&nbsp; While they appear to be isolated incidents, they’re not.&nbsp; Story after story has emerged outlining the depravity found on Pornhub.&nbsp; Finally, legislators and entire companies are taking action.

PayPal cut ties with Pornhub in 2019.&nbsp; A petition began circulating on the internet in February 2020, calling for Pornhub to be shut down.&nbsp; Furthermore, the petition seeks to hold executives accountable for their role in human trafficking.&nbsp; And in March 2020,&nbsp;Republican Senator Ben Sasses of Nebraska took action.&nbsp; He called upon the U.S. Department of Justice to formally open an investigation of Pornhub.&nbsp; In his letter, he stated,

“Pornhub’s incredible reach has a much darker side than the image of harmless fun that it tries to project. In several notable incidents over the past year, Pornhub made content available worldwide showing women and girls that were victims of trafficking being raped and exploited.”

At the time, Pornhub merely shrugged their shoulders at the allegations.&nbsp; They continued to allow users, including unverified users, to upload millions of pornographic videos and images.&nbsp; In light of COVID-19, they even prided themselves on ease of access to those stuck in quarantine.&nbsp; But as Jesus cautioned in Luke 8:17,

“There is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”

On December 4, the New York Times published an article accusing Pornhub of hosting videos that featured child abuse and non-consensual sexual behavior.&nbsp; Pornhub is refuting the allegations.&nbsp; In fact, despite the number of news headlines in recent years, Pornhub claims to have a zero-tolerance of child sexual abuse material.&nbsp; Though citing no wrongdoing, Pornhub did remove more than 75% of their content.&nbsp; It wasn’t enough.&nbsp; Following the publication of the New York Times article, several companies still chose to take action.

Mastercard immediately opened an investigation.&nbsp; Within days, they determined that the accusations were substantial.&nbsp; As a result, they issued the following statement: “The use of our cards at Pornhub is being terminated. Our investigation over the past several days has confirmed violations of our standards prohibiting unlawful content on their site.&nbsp; As a result, and in accordance with our policies, we instructed the financial institutions that connect the site to our network to terminate acceptance.”

Both Visa and Discover also decided to take action.

Discover made the decision to cut ties with Pornhub, citing the prohibition of activities that violate their operating standards.&nbsp; They released this statement,&nbsp;&nbsp;“When Discover determines merchants are offering prohibited activity, we promptly terminate card acceptance through the offending merchant’s financial institution.”

Visa’s investigation is ongoing, but they have suspended the use of their cards at this time.&nbsp; In a statement made to CNN Business, Visa shared, “Given the allegations of illegal activity, Visa is suspending Pornhub’s acceptance privileges pending the completion of our ongoing investigation.&nbsp; We are instructing the financial institutions who serve MindGeek [the parent company to Pornhub] to suspend processing of payments through the Visa network.”

Advocates seeking to end sexual exploitation, such as the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), have been putting pressure on these companies to cut ties with Pornhub for quite some time.&nbsp; On February 6, 2020, Visa was added to&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/2020-list-exposes-corporations-who-contribute-to-sexual-exploitation/" target="_blank">NCOSE’s Dirty Dozen List for 2020</a>.

This list, released annually since 2013, calls out the top companies who are either profiting from or facilitating sexual exploitation.&nbsp; The goal is to raise awareness of these actions, empowering individuals to raise their voices.&nbsp; By collaborating together, individuals and NCOSE have been successful in encouraging major companies to implement policy improvements.

Following the decisions made by Mastercard, Visa, and Discover, NCOSE shared that this was “the right decision to finally cut ties with a profiteer of rape.”

Though acceptance of pornography is increasing in today’s society, the truth remains that the majority of the content accessible features abuse, degradation, and humiliation of countless individuals.&nbsp; Often, the content is the product of sex trafficking,&nbsp; is non-consensual, or features underage victims.&nbsp; Even those who appeared to have lucrative careers in the adult entertainment industry in the past have admitted to the dark side of the porn industry.&nbsp; &nbsp;Many have reported battling drug or alcohol addictions in an attempt to numb the pain.&nbsp; Others endured a lifetime of abuse which led them to the pornography industry.

But performers aside, consumers need to understand the devastating effects of pornography.

From the first glimpse, the brain begins to form new pathways in the mind that craves more.&nbsp; Eventually, the consumer begins to spiral out of control.&nbsp; They find themselves in a place that they never would have imagined.&nbsp; As Ravi Zacharias states,

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.”

Living life in the fantasy world of porn gives way to dissatisfaction within physical relationships.&nbsp; As a result, many marriages begin to dissolve.&nbsp; In 2004, Dr. Jill Manning testified to the U.S. Senate that 56% of divorce cases cited pornography as a major contributing factor.

When a marriage fails, children often pay the price.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/how-could-divorce-affect-my-kids/" target="_blank">Focus on the Family</a>&nbsp;reports that children from divorced homes not only suffer academically, but may have an increased risk of experimenting with drugs or alcohol, and can be up to five times more likely to live in poverty.

Looking ahead into 2021 is the perfect time to consider taking action in your own life.

With the exposure of the dark side of pornography in the news lately, now is the time to reevaluate where you and your church stand on such topics.&nbsp; Will you continue to ignore the problem?&nbsp; Or are you ready to take action – fighting for yourself, your marriage, your family, and your community?

The&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0" target="_blank">Conquer Series</a>, a powerful 10-week course that combines science and Scripture to tackle pornography addiction, is a great place to start.&nbsp; Available digitally at&nbsp;<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr12182020&amp;utm_campaign=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow+-+December+18%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow" target="_blank">SoulRefiner.com</a>, individuals and small groups can get started immediately.&nbsp; You’ll learn more about pornography’s effect on the brain.&nbsp; Plus, you will learn the importance of healing from a broken past.&nbsp; This can empower you to discover your identity in Christ, which helps you become a godly spouse, parent, and leader.

And pastors, please don’t turn a blind eye to this issue.&nbsp; In a study conducted by Pure Desire Ministries,&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/15-mind-blowing-statistics-about-pornography-and-the-church/" target="_blank">68% of church-going men</a>&nbsp;acknowledged an ongoing struggle with porn.&nbsp; Thanks to&nbsp;<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr12182020&amp;utm_campaign=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow+-+December+18%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow" target="_blank">Soul Refiner</a>, online groups are possible.&nbsp; With a Church License, you can create groups, invite members, and plan to host a virtual-based time of group discussion each week.&nbsp; At their convenience, individuals will watch the weekly lesson – released one week prior to the scheduled meeting.&nbsp; They will complete the assignments in their study guide, reach out to the members of their group throughout the week, and come to the meeting prepared to discuss what they have learned.

If you’re skeptical about running an online group, check out what Sean Brennan of Burke Community Church had to share.

“I thought that the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0" target="_blank">Conquer Series</a>&nbsp;could only bring results in person so I was concerned that meeting over Zoom using the&nbsp;<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr12182020&amp;utm_campaign=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow+-+December+18%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow" target="_blank">Soul Refiner</a>&nbsp;platform would be awkward.&nbsp; I’m excited to say that it works extremely well online.&nbsp; I feel close to the men in my group and we are getting results.&nbsp; Men are being set free.&nbsp; I actually think the online format is superior to the paper form now that I have experienced it.&nbsp; Our class time is also more efficient and effective now that the group members watch the video prior to class.&nbsp; Also, now that we don’t have to drive to class, attendance is more consistent and the group members are more punctual.”

Don’t put it off any longer.&nbsp; Head on over to&nbsp;<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr12182020&amp;utm_campaign=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow+-+December+18%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Good+News%3A++Major+Porn+Website+Suffers+Tremendous+Blow" target="_blank">SoulRefiner.com</a>&nbsp;for more information.&nbsp; You’ll be glad you did!

Following years of child abuse and sex trafficking allegations, one of the world’s largest pornography websites is suffering major consequences...

Major Pornography Website Suffers Tremendous Blow

The Bible leaves no uncertainty that a man needs to be the spiritual leader in his home.&nbsp;This is an awesome responsibility and one that creates much anxiety for many men, especially those struggling with pornography.

Perhaps you never had a loving father as a role model, and in fact he was mentally or physically abusive to you. And maybe you didn’t have any other men in your life who provided good guidance and spiritual training for you.

You are not alone.&nbsp; Multitudes of men have had setbacks, especially in the area of sexual sin, including one of the greatest heroes of the Bible, David.&nbsp; And yet, the Scripture says that he was “a man after God’s own heart”.

David failed miserably, so how did he come back from such shame and disappointment?&nbsp; The first step he took was to confess his sins – asking for forgiveness and then turning away from his sin.&nbsp; God, in His mercy, forgave him just like He will forgive you.&nbsp; The greater failure that can keep you from being the godly leader in your home is the burden of unconfessed sin.

Proverbs 24:16 states, “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again.”&nbsp; Though we stumble, and at times fall, we are not to stay in that place of defeat.&nbsp; We are called to rise up and move forward.

In the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>, a 10-week video-based course created to help men battling pornography, Dr. Ted Roberts shares,

“God wants to turn you into more than a conqueror; not just a conqueror, but more than a conqueror.&nbsp; What “more than a conqueror” means is that every time the enemy knocks you down, by the grace of God, you get back up.”

Of course, that is no excuse to continue viewing pornography. But it does mean that God loves you even when you fall short of the standards of righteousness. And He still wants you to rise up and become a spiritual leader in your home.

Remember what Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14: “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” So don’t let your past hold you back either. You have an important job to do.

So how do you become your family’s spiritual leader? Jesus showed us that to be a leader, you first must be a servant and put the needs of others ahead of your own. Here are a few lessons Jesus taught about leadership:

• He led by example. Jesus did not simply make speeches or give lists of rules to follow. He showed people through his actions and words of truth how to live a life that was pleasing to God.

• He spent personal time with God. The New Testament gives many accounts of Jesus going away by himself to spend time praying and communing with His Father. If these times were strengthening and refreshing for Jesus, time alone with God is also extremely valuable for us.

• He prayed for and with those closest to Him. Imagine the impact on His disciples when they heard Him call their names in prayer or pray for their needs. Your family will feel the same comfort and power when you do the same.

• He was always being a servant. Few things show love and the true spirit of putting other people’s needs ahead of your own than serving them. Humility is a characteristic of a true leader.

• He valued the input of His disciples. Jesus often asked them questions and then intently listened to their answers. Listening to your wife’s insights and feedback (and your children’s, as appropriate) will help you make sound decisions that will benefit the whole family.

A key element of the Biblical Blueprint for Manhood is being a godly man. But what does it mean to be a godly man?

“A godly man is more than a male Christian. It is one with integrity, honor, living fully by the Word of God, one who shows love but at the same time, helps encourage others to live according to the Word without reproach. He is a man who goes beyond his own pleasures and has sought a pleasure with Christ.”

Compelling Truth explains, “The godly man is imperfect and knows that he will remain that way until he is with Jesus in heaven. In the meantime, the desire of his heart is to first and foremost be pleasing to the Lord. He works to live his life as Jesus did, surrendering all areas of weakness to Him in hopes of overcoming them…any man is able to be a godly man if he loves God and seeks to be obedient to Him in all things.”

To be a godly man and leader, a person who struggles with pornography must take accountability for his actions and admit that his porn viewing is severely impacting his ability to fully follow the Biblical Blueprint for Manhood. According to Matthew 5:27-30, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jim Vander Spek, the author of&nbsp;Overcoming Lust, wrote, “While (some Christian men) would not condone other sins, like stealing, they somehow have been convinced that lust is different. Unfortunately, victory over sin is not automatic. Rather, as with other sins, this thorny bush must be thoroughly uprooted. Otherwise, it will entangle and prevent us from being fruitful.”

Vander Spek added, “Jesus deplored hypocrisy more than any underlying sin. If we are Christians who harbor sexual fantasies, we are hypocrites – double-minded, unstable men… Even while we are professing our faith and acting clean on the outside, we are actually “dirty cups” on the inside.”

Kevin DeYoung, the senior pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina, said, “The fight for sexual purity is the fight of faith. It may sound like nothing but hard work and gritting your teeth–the very opposite of faith. But faith is at the heart of this struggle. Do we believe that a glimpse of God is better than a glimpse of skin? Do we believe that God’s steadfast love is better than life (Psalm 63:3)? We’d probably sin less if we spent less time thinking about our sins, sexual or otherwise, and more time&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/how-meditating-on-god-changes-your-identity/">meditating</a>&nbsp;on the love and holiness of God.”

God loves you unconditionally and will forgive any sin if we repent. In Psalm 32, King David wrote, “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity.” You can be a blessed man of God!

You can become the spiritual leader you want to be. Over 1 million men have started their journey to freedom through the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>. It consists of ten videos packed with strong Biblical teaching, powerful testimonies, and engaging action footage.

An interactive study guide and online journal are available to help keep you focused every day on achieving and maintaining your sobriety.

You are also encouraged to join a Conquer Group. If none exist in your area, talk to your church leaders about bringing the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0">Conquer Series</a>&nbsp;to your church.

“There was a time many years ago that I truly believed I could never be free. Well that was/is a lie! I joined a local group to watch the&nbsp;Conquer Series&nbsp;to stay free, get more free and help those still in bondage. There is nothing else like this program!”

God is calling you out, so that He can call you up.&nbsp; Are you ready to be the man that God designed you to be?&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/">Get started at SoulRefiner.com.</a>

The Bible leaves no uncertainty that a man needs to be the spiritual leader in his home. This is an awesome responsibility and one that creates much anxiety for many men, especially those struggling...

Biblical Blueprint for Manhood: Being the Spiritual Leader of Your Home

Seven years ago, Air Force Chaplain Curt Cizek boldly preached a sermon on sexual immorality and adultery.&nbsp;&nbsp;Today, he remains in an ongoing battle for his religious rights.

In 2013, the Lackland Air Force Base was still reeling from a sexual misconduct investigation.&nbsp; Military authorities had received an initial complaint of sexual abuse in 2009.&nbsp; By 2011, they had opened a full investigation.&nbsp; Upon conclusion of the investigation, at least 60 cadets had stepped forward.&nbsp; They accused a total of twenty instructors of sexually abusing them both during and after basic training.&nbsp; Allegations ranged from soliciting inappropriate sexual relations to rape.&nbsp; Of the 20 charged, five were sentenced to prison.

For Cizek, he had hoped that his sermon would help facilitate healing on this wounded Air Force base.&nbsp; What happened next took him by surprise.

Just days after preaching, a complaint was filed about the sermon.&nbsp; An individual allegedly took offense to comments regarding homosexuality.&nbsp; However, Cizek claims that the only mention of homosexuality was in regards to the hypocrisy that is spreading throughout the church.&nbsp; He shared,

“The church has gotten a reputation for being prejudiced because we often look at one sexual sin (homosexuality) and say that it is wrong but then turn a blind eye to heterosexual sin.”

According to Cizek, the sermon preached to at least 2,500 recruits was Biblically based.&nbsp; He told Fox News that the Scripture he shared was straight-forward in regards to adultery.&nbsp; Though only one complaint was received, it was enough to derail his entire military career.

Following the complaint, Cizek received verbal counseling by the chaplains in his chain of command.&nbsp; He didn’t think much of it, believing that the issue was going to be dropped.&nbsp; But several months later, his performance report was downgraded.&nbsp; He was also removed from working in basic training.

The following year, he received a less than stellar performance review.&nbsp; At the same time, he lost his promotion recommendation.&nbsp; By 2016, he was involuntarily discharged from his position – destroying any hopes of retiring from the Air Force.

Cizek believes that the powerful forces under President Barack Obama decided to bury his case in 2016.&nbsp; He has continued to fight, even appealing to the White House in both 2018 and 2019.&nbsp; Though his case was reopened in October 2020, it was abruptly closed on November 5.&nbsp; The military claims no wrongdoing despite Cizek’s allegations that his First Amendment rights have been violated.&nbsp; For him, the fight is far from over.

For Cizek, this case is about so much more than himself.&nbsp; Instead, it’s about fighting for the First Amendment rights to freedom of speech and religion.

Initially, it looked like his only option was to open a case with the Federal Court of Appeals.&nbsp; But recently, a new sense of hope emerged.&nbsp; Cizek received a phone call from a senior investigator with the Department of Defense.&nbsp; In reviewing his case, they believe that the chain of command overstepped their bounds.&nbsp; He remains hopeful that his case will be resolved favorably.

Cizek shares, “I simply want to be able to serve God and our country.”&nbsp; He continued,

“The truth of the Bible is also on the line.&nbsp; Cancel culture believes that speaking an inconvenient truth is intolerable.&nbsp; The real bigotry that exists today is preventing people from exercising their religious beliefs and freedom of speech.”

With sexual-based content accessible nearly everywhere, the Church as a whole is now in the fight of its life.

For years, the&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/three-reasons-why-churches-remain-silent-about-pornography/" target="_blank">Church has remained as quiet as possible</a>&nbsp;in regards to issues of sexuality.&nbsp; In an attempt to remain all-inclusive, some have even adopted new policies, procedures, and by-laws that allow those in sexual sin to hold positions of leadership.&nbsp; And though pastors acknowledge pornography as a widespread problem in their churches, few are actually willing to address it.&nbsp; In fact, the Barna Group reports that 88% of pastors admit to pornography being a problem in their congregation.&nbsp; However, only 7% of churches have a program in place to help those who are struggling.&nbsp; In a Twitter survey conducted by Covenant Eyes, 65% of the respondents shared that their church never or rarely talks about pornography.

When is the right time to do something about the sexual sin running rampant in the Church?&nbsp; Now.&nbsp; Is it enough to preach a Sunday morning sermon on the topic?&nbsp; No.

Before you can effectively tackle matters of sexual sin, you have to understand it.

Similar to other addictions, sexual addiction is often a means by which one chooses to medicate the pain they feel in their life.&nbsp; It has a devastating impact on the brain, as shared in the&nbsp;<a href="https://soulrefiner.com/series?id=0" target="_blank">Conquer Series</a>.

This 10-week course explains how the brain responds when an individual sexually acts out.&nbsp; Combining science and Scripture, individuals are learning why trying harder does not work.&nbsp; They are learning about the importance of renewing the mind, which is only possible through Christ.&nbsp; Plus, they are identifying painful moments of their past that are likely contributing to their present struggle.&nbsp; They could be the result of witnessing trauma or enduring abuse.&nbsp; For some, they have parental wounds caused by the absence of a parent during childhood.&nbsp; Some have experienced rejection, abandonment, or neglect.&nbsp; And for others, they have been deeply wounded by the harsh words spoken into their lives.

In these painful moments, Satan frequently authors lies that become the beliefs we live our lives based upon.&nbsp; Only through the healing process do we discover that these beliefs are lie-based.&nbsp; Once identified, the journey to finding the truth can effectively begin.&nbsp; This is a beautiful process, as it helps individuals once again find their identity in Christ.

Remember, offense typically stems from conviction.&nbsp;&nbsp;With less than one month left in 2020, now is the time to begin addressing the issues plaguing the men and women in your church and surrounding community.&nbsp; Thanks to&nbsp;<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr12032020&amp;utm_campaign=Air+Force+Chaplain+Discharged+Following+Sermon+on+Sexual+Immorality+-+December+3%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Air+Force+Chaplain+Discharged+Following+Sermon+on+Sexual+Immorality" target="_blank">SoulRefiner.com</a>, a new digital streaming platform, churches can begin to offer courses that will provide this much-needed healing.

Lin Wells of Calvary Chapel in Chino Hills shared,

“Soul Refiner&nbsp;is a prayer request come true for our church!&nbsp; The entire platform encompasses support for all those affected by the deleterious effects of sexual immorality in the church community.”

Pure Desire Ministries reports that 68% of church-going men view pornography.&nbsp; This season, will you provide hope to them, their spouse, and their families?&nbsp; Will you stand with Chaplain Cizek and fight to maintain the truth of the Bible?&nbsp; Are you ready to address sexual integrity in your church so that 2021 can truly become a year of discipleship throughout your congregation?

<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr12032020&amp;utm_campaign=Air+Force+Chaplain+Discharged+Following+Sermon+on+Sexual+Immorality+-+December+3%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Air+Force+Chaplain+Discharged+Following+Sermon+on+Sexual+Immorality" target="_blank">If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, visit SoulRefiner.com for more information.</a>

Seven years ago, Air Force Chaplain Curt Cizek boldly preached a sermon on sexual immorality and adultery.  Today, he remains in an ongoing battle for his religious rights...

Air Force Chaplain Discharged Following Sermon on Sexual Immorality

Visiting “The Most Magical Place on Earth” is the dream of many children.&nbsp;Families save and plan for the ultimate Disney vacation, determined to make memories that last a lifetime. Walking across the parking lot for the first time, expectations are at an all-time high.

Children are excited to meet their favorite Disney characters. They often will run ahead of their parents, anxious to experience the rides, the parades, the music, and the shows. For first-time visitors, grabbing a guide map is essential to navigating the park and getting the most out of each day.

But parents beware! As your child excitedly clutches the latest map of Hollywood Studios in their hands, they’re not exactly going to be staring at Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Instead, they’ll see a homosexual male couple excitedly skipping to one of the latest attractions, “Runaway Railway”.

While some are quick to praise Disney’s decision for all-inclusivity, it does come with a price tag. And no, we’re not talking about monetary value.

One of the number one things being attacked in today’s society is healthy sexuality. Satan is not content to sit around and wait for unsuspecting adults. Instead, he seeks to devour from a very young age. This has been his personal mission since the beginning of time. In his craftiness, he recognizes that this is not something that will simply happen overnight. Instead, it needs to be a slow-fade, one that desensitizes people gradually over time.

The Kinsey Reports, authored by Alfred Kinsey and published in 1948 and 1953, birthed the&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/what-the-media-wont-tell-you-about-the-sexual-revolution/" target="_blank">“Sexual Revolution”</a>. A new era was ushered in where people started to open up about and celebrate new concepts regarding sexuality. In many documented cases, babies and young children were horribly abused to collect the data that was presented.

Dr. Judith Reisman, Ph.D and author, shares that this was a major turning point in our history. She stated, “That became the foundation for the sex educational structure that fed itself into what we are teaching our children right now.”

She continued, “And of course it was the foundation of all the changes in our laws – the sodomy laws, the abortion laws, everything else.”

So how does this lead us to where we are today with Walt Disney World’s latest map?

Walt Disney World Neglects to Protect Children

Over a period of decades, the world has been taught to believe that healthy sexuality is something that should be flaunted in the streets. Pornography, masturbation, fornication, and homosexuality have slowly started to weave themselves throughout the fabric of this nation and the world.

Instead of maintaining the innocence of children, Disney has quickly adopted many secular world views. Focusing on revenue and profits, they fail to protect their youngest fans.&nbsp;<a href="https://conquerseries.com/disney-sparks-outcry-among-christian-parents/" target="_blank">They’ve made headlines</a>&nbsp;several times over the past few years for featuring homosexual content, having employees arrested on child pornography charges, and planning to cease filming in areas that are anti-abortion. Last year, the park even hosted its first LGBTQ Pride Parade.

At one time, parents had a censorship right. They could choose to restrict TV shows and movies that normalized or even glamorized sexual sin. Now, it’s hard for parents to know what to expect as even the TV censorship ratings have been relaxed. What’s worse, a family cannot even choose to visit Walt Disney World without having sexuality flaunted in their faces – and ultimately placed in their hands.

Some kids will see the new map and not raise a question. Others may have such piqued levels of curiosity that they’ll take to Google to learn more. Unassumingly, they will stumble across Pandora’s box. As a result, some children may start on the path to struggling with their own identity. Others, before they realize it, may find themselves addicted to pornography.

The danger in adults openly welcoming such content into the lives of their children has far greater consequences than many want to acknowledge.

“If anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” – Matthew 18:6

An entire generation is being raised to believe that the immoral is now moral. Most no longer believe in sin. Instead, they are being taught that there is freedom in expressing themselves however they see fit. No longer is there a fear of the Lord, but is instead an expectation that “I can do what I please without consequence”.

The truth is, change begins at home. The conversations of healthy sexuality should not be happening through television programming or at school. Instead, these discussions should be had at home and reinforced by the Church.

Church, you must wake up and begin to carry the torch that has been laid down for far too long. Sexual sin can no longer be allowed to run rampant throughout the Church with little to no consequence.

A new streaming platform was recently launched to help churches deal with some of the tough issues people face on a daily basis, including finding freedom from the chains of pornography and sexual sin.&nbsp; Check out&nbsp;<a href="https://www.soulrefiner.com/?ims=sr11172020&amp;utm_campaign=Walt+Disney+World+Unveils+New+Park+Map+Featuring+Same-Sex+Couple+-+November+17%2C+2020&amp;utm_source=Email+KingdomWorks+&amp;utm_medium=Email+&amp;utm_content=Walt+Disney+World+Unveils+New+Park+Map+Featuring+Same-Sex+Couple" target="_blank">SoulRefiner.com.</a>

The lives of the next generation hinge on the choice you make today!

Visiting “The Most Magical Place on Earth” is the dream of many children. Families save and plan for the ultimate Disney vacation, determined to make memories that last a lifetime...

Walt Disney World Unveils New Park Map Featuring Same-Sex Couple

“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…” – Revelation 12:11 (NIV)

Our testimony holds great weight and power, especially to someone who is in the valley looking for an ounce of hope to carry them through.&nbsp; In the battle for sexual purity and integrity, those who have found themselves lost in addiction can begin to feel that there is no way out.&nbsp; Satan wants you to believe that no one will understand what you are going through.&nbsp; He supplies one lie after another.&nbsp; His desire is for you to believe that disclosing your secret will only lead to guilt, shame, embarrassment, judgment, and condemnation.

Today, we want to encourage you that you are not alone.&nbsp; People do genuinely understand where you have been, as many have walked the path ahead of you.&nbsp; Freedom is possible, as you will discover through Brad’s story.

In 5th grade, I was viciously attacked and kidnapped. Taken to a shack in the middle of the woods, I was terribly abused. I remember the shock I felt when it happened. I wasn’t strong enough to fight back. Instead, I was forced to do perverted things. As a result of repeated attacks, I was left badly wounded and had sickeningly deep scars from the attack. Amazingly, though I did escape, I was told the scars would be permanent.

I was left feeling incredibly ugly and full of shame. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. Slowly, I became a loner and never developed in maturity the way other people my age did. My school classmates constantly teased and tormented me. Needless to say, I internalized the pain and became an angry person.

In response to fear, I would fly off the handle in rage. In an attempt to protect me from further pain, I would build walls around myself, seek to control my environment, my life, and the few friends that I did manage to have.

Fear often manifests itself in control and anger. You’re upset because you don’t feel safe. And, as was the case with me, you can lose friends over time as a result of that explosive anger.

Our testimony holds great weight and power, especially to someone who is in the valley looking for an ounce of hope to carry them through.  In the battle for sexual purity and integrity...

FEATURED ARTICLE

10 Signs Your Partner is an Intimacy Anorexic

10 Signs Your Partner is an Intimacy Anorexic

Who Owns the World’s Most Popular Porn Website?

4 Steps To Practicing Forgiveness

How to Quit Porn in 2020

Major Pornography Website Suffers Tremendous Blow

Biblical Blueprint for Manhood: Being the Spiritual Leader of Your Home

Air Force Chaplain Discharged Following Sermon on Sexual Immorality

Walt Disney World Unveils New Park Map Featuring Same-Sex Couple

Testimony: One Man’s Desperate Attempt to Find Healing

109 Women & 45 Kids Rescued in Anti-Human Trafficking Operation

Identity Attacked: How Satan Authors Lies in the Moment of Pain

Learning to Rebuild Your Ground Zero

Major Porn Site Fails to Protect Known Victims

Christians Call For Repentance With Hopes of Revival

The Silent Marriage Killer

Get practical strategies to transform your thinking.

Sign up for the Soul Refiner newsletter and never miss an article.