A Decade Of Regrets: Pain, Porn, And Personal Choices
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Before we know it, this year will come to an abrupt end. We’ll not only be given the chance to reflect on the last year, but we can also look over the past ten years as well. All of the things that we’ve spent time putting into motion in our lives will now carry into the next ten years.
So, where do you see yourself in the next ten years?
The Future Awaits
A lot can happen in ten years. You may accept a new job, graduate, get married, start a family, receive a promotion, or buy a house.
But what happens if you are secretly struggling with porn?
The next decade could bring the exposure of your secrets, heartache to your wife, loss of your job, destruction to your family, or even feelings of separation between you and God.
I know, because my husband and I have been there.
A Lot Can Happen In Ten Years
In 2010, our lives were spiraling out of control. We had welcomed porn into our home, both as individuals and as a couple. It was driving a wedge between us, as we learned to satisfy the desires of our flesh. And that year, as a result of the escalating power of porn in his life, my husband nearly had an affair.
Related Article: What Viewing Porn Together Did to Our Relationship
In one conversation, my life came crashing down. Not knowing how to navigate through the pain that I felt, I asked my husband to move out. But I realized that whether in isolation or in his presence, my heart ached.
I had so many hopes and dreams for our future! As I evaluated every facet of my life, I realized that my husband was a great man – but he struggled with something that had excessive power over him. Regardless of his several attempts, he could not seem to find freedom.
Determined to defy the odds and salvage our marriage, I invited my husband to come home. I’d like to tell you that we lived happily ever after, but sadly his struggle with porn lasted for several more years. Things finally came to a screeching halt when our daughter walked in on her dad viewing porn.
Related Article: To My Porn-Watching Dad, From Your Daughter
The Power Of Choice
He was left with two choices. He could watch his family walk away, or he could break through the denial in his life to pursue healing. Thankfully, he chose to pursue healing – even when it was painful.
It wasn’t easy to sit at the kitchen table and listen as a lifetime full of secrets was being brought to the light. But it had to be done if healing was ever going to take place.
On that day, God, rich in mercy and powerful in love, turned our sinking ship around. Now, we can cheerfully and expectantly await the dawning of the new decade. Hand in hand, and more in love than ever before, we can look forward to the experiences that we will get to enjoy together along the way.
Related Article: Addiction: It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way
Take Inventory
So let me ask you this – What are you currently putting into motion for the next decade of your life?
Now is the time to begin the evaluation of your life that will set the tone for the next ten years. Regardless of how long you have struggled with porn, or the extent to which it has consumed your life, you can choose to seek healing and freedom.
There is no better time than right now to not only rid your life of porn, but to completely expose all of the lies that have been holding you captive.
Related Article: Identity Attacked: How Satan Authors Lies
For a significant number of individuals, their struggle with porn started off at the hands of someone else. Maybe they faced peer pressure as a teen that led them to an explicit website. Or, grandpa may have left porn magazines laying out in the open for all to see. Quite possibly, they had been provided pornography as a means to groom them for encounters that they would later be persuaded to have.
Others may have stumbled across porn innocently. It could have been a misspelling while browsing the internet to complete a project for school. Not knowing what they were subjecting themselves to, they may have browsed the internet to find information about a word or phrase they heard from their friends or a television program.
But regardless of how the struggle with porn started in one’s life, it’s important to know that you are never too far gone to experience God’s grace in your life.
The Power Of Porn
Pornography will quickly hijack the mind. The danger is in thinking that you can break free at any time by your own free will.
Related Article: How Sexual Sin Sears Your Conscience (VIDEO)
New neuropathways begin forming in the brain starting from the very first glimpse. And though one may have been initially disgusted, the seed was planted and it may lure them back in. Over time, individuals tend to run back to pornography to medicate pain, stress, boredom, and loneliness in their lives.
The best chance at securing victory is not by trying harder. In fact, trying harder can only increase the pain and pressure in life. It will likely work for a period of time, but as the pressure increases, so does the risk of relapse.
Related Article: Trying Harder Doesn't Work
Remember, it’s not about managing porn usage but instead about allowing God to expose and heal the broken areas of life that could be contributing to your struggle. This will require a level of vulnerability and surrender, as you will have to look much deeper into your past than merely viewing the porn that rests on the surface. But know this, God is faithful and can be trusted.
Where To Begin
For millions of men around the world, they are finding hope and freedom through the use of the Conquer Series. The Conquer Series is a cinematic small group study, initially created for men who desire sexual purity in their lives.
Combining both science and Scripture, men are learning how the brain has been changed through the viewing of porn. They are gaining knowledge about the attacks of the enemy that hold men in bondage, and are learning about the weapons provided by God to fight back.
Moreover, men all around the world are recognizing and fully embracing their identity in Christ. No longer are they remaining cloaked in guilt, shame, feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy. Instead, they are learning to view themselves in light of how God sees them. And this concept alone is radically transforming their lives!
Changing The Direction Of Your Life
Opening yourself up to the Lord, and inviting others into your journey may seem daunting. It may even seem downright impossible, but it will be necessary for you to find freedom.
Consider joining a Conquer Group so that you can get connected with other men who desire freedom from porn. They will encourage you, pray for you, and support you along the way. And above all else, they will remind you that you are not alone.
Related Article: How These Men Are Getting Over Porn
Though you may not have started this decade well, you have time to put things in motion that will radically change your life over the course of the next decade – for the better.
Allow God to breathe life back into dreams that you once had. Welcome His resuscitation of your heart, mind, and spirit. And above all else, choose to reclaim your power back and relentlessly pursue God.
Where would you like to see yourself in five or ten years? Walk forward in that direction.