Mega Church Pastor Judah Smith Says Masturbation Is A Gift

To be clear, the intent of this blog is not to bash, discredit, or label Judah Smith and his wife whatsoever. I will also add that I am by no means speaking from a place of “I am holier than thou.” Instead, I seek to break down and comment on their position concerning masturbation and would like to share my stance on the subject matter and why.

For those who don’t know, Judah Smith and his wife Chelsea are lead pastors of Churchome in Kirkland, WA, who regularly see attendance in the tens of thousands on-site and hundreds of thousands online. So, it’s easy to see why what they say can garner much attention or controversy, apart from the fact that they’re pastors.

They’ve recently come under scrutiny for Judah’s stance on masturbation, saying it is a gift in marriage.

This comment by Judah came in response to a viewer’s question on their Instagram live back in 2020, explicitly held for singles, who asked, “I’m single [and] I don’t want to have sex right now. Is pleasuring myself okay?”

In Judah’s response, he alludes to Scripture and acknowledges that masturbation is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible but that there is plenty of reference to lust. And he goes on to say, “What is lust? Lust is using your imagination to think about having sex with someone you are not in a covenant relationship with.”

He then says,

“That’s where the line is clear in Scripture. When you start practicing lust, and yes, that can be in partnership with masturbation. Still, there is a way to pleasure yourself for physical reasons and use it as a weapon to resist and fight the urge to sexually engage someone and start crossing lines that not only hurt you but hurt others. So for Chelsea and I, we have definitely landed on this topic that it can be very much a productive tool. When I am traveling away from Chelsea and I can fantasize about Chelsea and use masturbation as a gift to keep myself focused and not get caught up with other women or images or pornography.”

Keep in mind that Judah is responding to someone single.

And although he starts and ends by talking about masturbation within the confines of a marriage relationship, the overall message conveyed is the endorsement of masturbation in general as a means to fight temptation and continue walking in purity. I know, you’re probably like, “wait, what?”

Mind you, this is an Instagram live specifically for singles, and masturbation does not apply at all in that context.

Judah should’ve said, plain and simple, that for a single person wanting to walk in purity, masturbation is off the table along with any other sexual act, and back it up with Scripture.

Even if Judah’s audience was exclusively married couples, the way he justifies masturbation is also wrong. Before diving into this deeper, it was Voltaire that said, “if you wish to converse with me, define your terms.” In other words, before jumping into any in-depth analysis or debate about a specific topic, let’s first define the terms that make up the cornerstone of our discussion.

Is Masturbation A Sin

So, what is masturbation? Masturbation is the stimulation of the genitalia to produce a sexual orgasm. Notice I did not say self-stimulation. Although self-stimulation is masturbation, masturbation is not always self-stimulation, if that makes sense.

Because there does exist the context in which a married couple, who in mutual agreement, consents to stimulate one another, which is completely fine since it’s within the confines of a marriage relationship, and the end goal and desire of one spouse is to serve and bring pleasure to the other spouse. This is one of the designs of sex—more on that later. However, this is how Judah should have endorsed consensual stimulation in the confines of marriage, not self-stimulation.

Related Article: C.S. Lewis On Porn And Masturbation

Therefore, the question we’re posing is: is self-stimulation a sin? And what does the Bible say? Although masturbation is not explicitly addressed in Scripture, we can draw from other Bible verses relevant to this topic to draw an application for today.

For singles, the answer is simple: any sexual act is off-limits when you’re single.

Dr. Jason DeRouchie, Research Professor at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, adds,

“God purposed that all righteous forms of sexual expression be for the marriage bed. Masturbation removes sexual expression from its only God-intended context. Sexual expression manifest in orgasm is a good gift of God (1 Timothy 4:2–5) that men and women are to enjoy only in the context of marital intimacy (Genesis 2:23; Song 8:4-6; 1 Corinthians 7:2–3; Hebrews 13:4). When people reach orgasm outside the covenant-confirming act of lovemaking in marriage, the act becomes solely self-seeking, divorced from its purpose of creating intimacy. Sexual expression through orgasm should be an overflow of a desire for a spouse, not merely for a feeling or experience.”

Dr. Doug Weiss, a leading sexual addiction expert featured in the Conquer Series, a cinematic series that successfully helps men become porn-free, gives his bold take on masturbation.

He teaches there’s an order of sexual authority when it comes to our private parts as follows: “God, wife, me pee.” Our body, belongs first to the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), then to our wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). Our private parts are reserved for peeing rights—unless there’s a mutual agreement to engage in consensual stimulation.

So, you may be asking yourself, aren’t Judah and Chelsea married, and aren’t they both consenting to self-stimulation? So, that makes it okay, right? No. Because as stated, self-stimulation is self-serving and self-seeking, whereas consensual stimulation in marriage seeks to please the other. Self-stimulation objectifies and exploits your spouse, or another person, for your own pleasure, whereas consensual stimulation in marriage serves and honors your spouse for their pleasure.

Since one of the designs of sex is to enhance intimacy fostered through service in the form of self-giving, selfless acts to pleasure our spouse to the point of orgasm, then we know self-stimulation, conversely, seeks only to please self, and that is not part of God’s design for sex…even if you are thinking about your spouse.

Related Article: Here Is How To Love Your Wife Better

Therefore, the sole purpose of self-stimulation is to serve and please the self, which is the essence and fruit of lust, and that is a far cry from “being a weapon” for purity.

What Is Lust

Lust, from the Greek word epithumeo, is the earnest desire, longing, coveting, or appetite for something or someone. Self-stimulation cannot occur without lusting, without being mentally stimulated sexually, or without entertaining sexual thoughts. Even while dreaming and ejaculating during sleep, when there is no physical stimulation, it still occurs because sexual dreams mentally stimulate your mind.

Mental visualization plays a massive part in orgasms. It is how we are biologically wired to attain orgasm. There is a simultaneous phenomenon both physically and mentally that occurs to propel someone to orgasm. Hence, why Judah says he thinks about his wife while he stimulates himself. But to promote self-stimulation is so dangerous because we often cannot control our thoughts, which can quickly become a slippery slope as the mind wanders to thinking about others with whom you are not in a covenant relationship.

There’s an episode in the Conquer Series, devoted entirely to the brain. The series helps us understand how our sexuality is programmed by three pounds of grey matter. The brain produces neurochemicals and hormones that create pleasure, help you bond with others, and forget pain, among other things. These neurochemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin) flood the brain during sexual release. God designed us to produce these neurochemicals, but when used outside of His will, they become damaging to us.

Related Article: This Is What Your Brain On Porn Looks Like

Dr. Doug Weiss uses a “Spiderman analogy” in the series to explain how we attach and become addicted to certain types of images and sexual actions that lead to an orgasm, “The way God designed you is whatever you’re beholding at the point of sexual release, you literally glue to, attach to, hunger for, and will crave again.”

This is pivotal. Thinking sexual thoughts while stimulating yourself attaches you to what is synthetic rather than what is real. It physically alters the structure of the brain and your arousal template. The arousal template is a form of sexual imprinting that you have learned to glue yourself to and return to. And here’s the kicker, the more the sexual stimulus is repeated, the stronger the template will become. The Conquer Series dives deeper into this and how to reverse it.

Related Article: Defeating Porn By Understanding Your Brain’s Arousal Template

The ultimate trump card on this matter is when Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-28,

“You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

This means that you do not even have to act on your desire to reach the point of sinning. Your mere lustful intent is already sin in and of itself. By the time you’ve even reached the point of deciding that you’re going to self-stimulate, you have already sinned.

So, the notion that one can justify stimulating themselves, regardless of their marital status or who the object of their fantasy or desire is, is a cop-out. This, of course, is no justification to follow through with the mindset of, “well, I’ve already lusted in my heart; I might as well act out and relieve myself.”

In other words, the question shouldn’t be, “is it ok for me to physically stimulate myself,” but rather, “how can I abstain from lusting after others?” Isaiah Saldivar, a fiery atheist, turned revivalist with a large following, gives his take on the masturbation debate.

Isaiah Saldivar

Isaiah responds,

“[Smith’s] argument is so weird because he says it’s good for marriage, it’s okay to fantasize about your wife. But then a second before that, he says [masturbation] is used as a weapon so that you don’t fall into sexual temptation with whoever you’re dating or with other people, so…is it for marriage or is it for dating and for not falling into sexual sin? There are so many young viewers listening to this guy, and it’s dangerous when you start opening the door to sexual acts - and masturbation is a sexual act. Your body needs to be thinking about a sexual act to be able to masturbate.”

Saldivar outlines why self-stimulation is a sin:

1. Self-stimulation leads to sexual sin. (1 Corinthians 6:9, Romans 2:16)
2. You feel dirty for a reason; even people in the world say this (Romans 2:15)
3. Masturbation draws us towards sexual sin, not away from it. (1 Corinthians 6:18, Proverbs 5:7-8, Matthew 5:29)

What’s The Purpose Of Sex

We know that God created sex and orgasm and those things are inherently good. But, there are bounds in which those gifts are meant to function: a covenant relationship or marriage. Outside these bounds, sex is a sin, harmful and even destructive like fire.

Apart from the other benefits and purposes of sex, such as pleasure, procreation, and bonding, arguably, the chief aim of sex is to point us to Christ as a consummate reflection of His love for His bride, the Church.

Dr. Ted Roberts in the Conquer Series says, “The most sacred place in your home is your bedroom.” The marriage bed is an earthly reflection of a divine mystery.

Dr. DeRouchie illustrates this beautifully when he says,

“sexual intimacy between a husband and wife points to the love between Christ and his Church. Those who substitute masturbation for marital intimacy undervalue God’s glory. The ultimate reason sexual expression manifests in orgasm, to be enjoyed only in the context of marriage, is because the sexual drive that leads to sexual expression is given to ‘picture’ the intimate ‘one flesh’ nature of covenant love between Christ and his Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). When masturbation is a substitute for marital intimacy, it minimizes the glory of God displayed in sexual expression by taking God’s good gift out of its God-ordained context of marital love (compare Jeremiah 31:31-32; Ezekiel 16:30-32; Hosea 2:13-14, 16, 20).”

In other words, sex, and even marriage for that matter, is not about what you can get, but rather what it represents and what you can give. It is a selfless, God-glorifying act and the ultimate expression of intimacy.

What Is Intimacy

Intimacy is the crossroads of complete vulnerability and exposure of one’s self, met by the full acceptance in unconditional love by another and vice versa.

Intimacy in marriage is the key to mind-blowing sex, but you can only experience intimacy when you live an authentic and transparent life that’s fully surrendered to the Cross and to your spouse. Self-stimulation, on the other hand, is a lie with empty promises that lead to disappointment and destruction, but so many of us have fallen for it.

Related Article: Bringing Intimacy Back To The Bedroom

This all sounds lovely, but what happens if you’re single? In fact, the first time God said something wasn’t good was in Genesis 2:18, when He said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

So, how should a single person control their sexual urges? It starts with renewing the mind.

Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 12:2, “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The Conquer Series teaches about how science is now confirming Scripture as they explain how our brains are neuroplastic.

Related Article: How To Delete Porn From Your Brain

Dr. DeRouchie responds accordingly, “As noted, orgasm outside the marriage bed removes the relational, intimate nature of sexual expression, which is at the core of its purpose (1 Corinthians 7:2–5). Refraining from masturbation helps to purify one’s appetites (1 Corinthians 9:27).

He adds,

“Paul declares that the answer to sexual desire is either the marriage bed or self-control, not masturbation. The apostle affirmed that for those gifted with marriage, regular sexual relations with one’s spouse helps keep one faithful and guarded against demonic temptations (1 Corinthians 7:1–5). For those able to remain self-controlled, singleness is a good option, but where sexual passion rises, marriage and not masturbation is Paul’s antidote (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 36-38).”

Hope For The Struggling

Believe me, I’m empathetic to those struggling to stay pure. As a victim of sexual abuse at an early age, in addition to 15 years of porn addiction and falling victim to an online sextortion scam, and having relapsed, even as a Christian, I get it. I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says,

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

So, know the goal is not to chastise you for struggling with sexual thoughts or self-stimulation. Our sinful nature, culture, and even Christian leaders like the Smiths endorse it. However, when we run with those thoughts and act on them we become bonded to a secret idol that will lead us further away from God, our partner, and our purpose.

Related Article: From Porn Star To Pastor: How God Rewrote Joshua Broome’s Story

The struggle will end once you’re gripped by grace and you begin to renew your mind, aligning your thoughts and actions with God.

Watch the Conquer Series on SoulRefiner.com and begin your journey to freedom today.

Over 2 million men in over 100 countries worldwide have found freedom from porn and unwanted sexual behaviors through the robust discipleship curriculum, the Conquer Series.

The Conquer Series is a powerful cinematic series jam-packed with incredible testimonies, Bible-based teachings, and scientific research. Designed to help you renew your mind and equip you with a battle plan for sexual purity, you too can experience healing and freedom once and for all.

Get with the battle plan for purity today at SoulRefiner.com.