5 Steps To START Your Journey To Freedom
Copy Link
(Modified: )
While sitting in church on Easter one morning, the pastor was talking about the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. He was delivering a powerful message, which really challenged myself in mind and spirit. The gift of salvation was freely given, and many people accept it but only at face value.
Have you ever come to a crossroad in your life? A tough situation needed your attention, and the ending result would force you to give up something? Is the life that you’re currently living producing honor to God? Does it serve to show the great appreciation that you have in your heart for the selfless gift that was given by Jesus as His blood spilled out over the earth to cover not only your sins, but the sins of all mankind?
For many, the hardest part of letting go is finding the reason why you need to surrender that person, place, or thing in the first place. It has become a part of you, sometimes for so long that you believe that you cannot have freedom from it. Often times, this thing that you need to be delivered from is not something that you’re proud of.
Related Article: Understanding Denial & How It Fuels Porn Addiction
In fact, especially when dealing with porn and sex addiction, many want freedom from the binge/purge cycle but are too afraid to confide in someone that they are facing this battle. Men and women alike believe that they can conquer the struggle on their own. The truth is you can’t.
If this sounds like you, there is good news. You are only step away from a totally different life! Make today the day that you START the journey.
As you read this, remember that nothing can separate you from the love of your Father in Heaven. Our actions and choices can separate us from feeling His presence.
1. Stop Making Excuses
Excuses are defenses. Defense is a protection mechanism. The thing that you’re defending is the thing that you are protecting.
In terms of porn and sexual addiction, the thing that you are protecting is then setting you up for destroyed relationships.
During the Conquer Series, Dr. Doug Weiss challenges men to think about what they’re defending, what they truly love:
“What a man loves is what he protects. If you’re doing the things I’ve suggested…accountability, honesty, confessing your flaws, blocking stuff, your sword is aiming against the enemy and protecting those behind you. However, if you are not doing those things, your sword is actually aimed toward your family. Towards your wife who you say you loved. You’re aiming it towards your children and you’re wounding them intentionally so that you can have pleasure in a way that’s inappropriate. So it’s real simple, which way is your sword aiming?”
Related Article: The Benefits Of Full Disclosure & How It Can Help Heal Your Marriage
Many individuals who are struggling in this area of life have a variety of fears which keeps them from seeking the appropriate counsel; fear of condemnation, fear of bringing embarrassment upon their family, fear of ruining their reputation, and fear of ruining their careers.
Believing that you can quit porn privately, and on your own is a lie…a lie that will prevent you from ever walking in freedom.
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.-Proverbs 28:13
2. Take Inventory Of Your Life
It’s time to start evaluating your life. Look at the things that are going well for you, and confront the areas of your life that needs to change. Evaluate the overall cost of the change; spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.
If you’re currently going through the Conquer Series, you will have access to several great tools to help you evaluate your life and the changes that need to be made. Each week, there is a Commitment to Change section which will help you identify these areas, and will help you dig in to the process it will take to make the necessary changes in your life.
Related Article: Are You Ready To Do Whatever It Takes To Find Freedom From Porn?
Think about the most important people in your life, and consider how your actions are currently affecting them. If you have been keeping your hidden life a secret, evaluate how those people are going to feel when the truth comes out.
Do your actions today have the potential to cause extensive harm tomorrow?
If someone was to discover the hidden things that you have been doing, could you be fired or arrested? Are you setting yourself and your spouse up to be made vulnerable to sexually transmitted diseases? Will your marriage be destroyed, and will your family be divided?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, today is the day to completely surrender all that is holding you in bondage to sin and shame.
3. Act In Faith
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.-Hebrews 11:1
It’s time to accelerate in the right direction! As you step into recovery it is going to take boldness and courage like you’ve never had before. Instead of living for the moment, look to the future. If what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked, you are going to need to be bold in making changes. Be prepared to do whatever it takes to follow God, even when it makes you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable.
Related Article: Testimony: One Man's Desperate Attempt To Find Healing
If you want to be free, you will have to boldly step in to the open.
In Mark 5:25-34, we glimpse into a moment of time when a woman had to act boldly in faith. She had been sick for twelve years, had spent all of her money on doctors and so called cures, but she only got worse. She heard about Jesus, and believed that if she could just touch Him, she would be healed. That is exactly what happened! She was healed instantly, and it was confirmed that she was healed because of her faith.
How about you? Have you been spending all of your time, energy, and resources on your sexual addiction? Have you tried with everything you have in you, only to end up relapsing?
Related Article: A Decade Of Regrets: Pain, Porn, And Personal Choices
Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, **which wage war against your soul. **- 1 Peter 2:11
The Conquer Series will explain to you why trying harder hasn’t worked. You will hear from men who have been where you’re at, and you will be encouraged as you hear their stories of finding freedom.
Related Article: When Trying Harder Isn’t Enough
Take the first step, and believe that God will honor your giant leap of faith.
4. Refocus
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. - Colossians 3:2
Refocus is changing direction. Above all, the direction that you have been going has led you to places that you didn’t want to go, and has kept you there longer than you intended to stay.
God has never left you. You have been the one to move in a direction away from the closeness of the Lord.
Your identity has been stolen, and has been replaced with the lies of the enemy. It is time to have some quiet time with God, get real with yourself and with God, and begin the process of reclaiming the man (or woman) that God made you to be!
Related Article: Identity Attacked: How Satan Authors Lies
As a result, this will require you to surrender not only your struggle, but also the wounds, traumas, and influences that first ensnared you in this addiction.
This will be painful, but will also be invigorating. You have been carrying your burdens for too long, and the only way to find healing is to place them, all of them, at the foot of the Cross.
5. Trust & Depend On The Lord
God is faithful when we place our trust in Him. He is for you and not against you. He knows your heart and your intentions better than anyone else. If you’re serious about breaking free, and you lean in to Him, He will help you.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10
Miraculous transformation can take place, as Dr. Ted Roberts mentions his immediate deliverance from alcoholism in the Conquer Series. For many though, this process takes time. A Conquer Series Group will help you walk out the journey with others. Make connections with men in your area who are fighting the same fight as you, and men who are now experiencing freedom.
On days when you’re fighting the battle and you feel as if you’re losing, reach out to the members of your group. Share your struggle with them, and ask them to pray for you.
Related Article: How To Tell Your Wife That You’re Struggling with Porn
“This course set me free. Decades of stopping and starting porn. No one in the churches I went to ever mentioned the porn problem. I am sober, 3 years now. Praise God!” - John T.
Remember, you are not waging war on the enemy on your own. Thousands have gone before you, and thousands will follow you. Don’t find regret in not starting the journey.