How This Woman Is Helping Men Find Freedom From Porn

Have you ever found yourself in a room full of people, and as soon as sex addiction is mentioned it’s like the mic drops and the room grows silent? Eyes start to inadvertently dart around the room, and it’s like you can see the thoughts inside someone’s head?

As you gaze around the room, the expressions on the faces of those in the room range from “Oh my gosh! I can’t believe we’re having this conversation! I wonder how many people are getting their toes stepped on right now?” to “How do they know? I thought I covered my tracks!”

And then there are the silent ones whose eyes hit the floor as they blink back tears and you can tell by the somber look on their face that they’re silently struggling.

The pain that they’re stuffing is inwardly crushing them while they outwardly pretend that everything is okay.

Related Article: How Can I Break Free From Porn?

A Fine Line

In today’s society, there is an invisible fine line. On one end of the spectrum, porn and sexual addiction is taboo, private, and shouldn’t be discussed. On the other end it’s becoming normalized. Men aren’t realizing that it is a problem because society pushes, “Boys will be boys.” Porn becomes a tolerated, even accepted norm.

Related Article: Record Number of Americans Think Porn is ‘Morally Acceptable’

On the other end of the spectrum, men desiring to find freedom sometimes refrain from stepping forward for fear of judgment, guilt, shame, or simply because they believe that there is no help available for them. The spouses trying to deal with the trauma caused by the addiction equally find it hard to step forward and confide in someone. They worry that people will judge them, think less of them, or will make them feel inadequate–as if they are not meeting the needs of their spouse.

Related Article: How Viewing Porn Is Wounding Your Wife & Hurting Your Family

Nancy Houston

This is what Nancy Houston, Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist, has experienced in her line of work.

Several years ago, Nancy was overseeing the Crisis Marriages department while serving at Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas. She consistently watched as shame-filled, hopeless human beings walked through her office door.

A significant percentage of the marriages in crisis were crumbling because of a porn addiction or an affair. Individuals and couples alike felt as if they were facing this battle alone. Many of the betrayed spouses resonated the idea of no longer knowing the person whom they married.

Related Article: The Fallout of Porn: How the Church Can Help Hurting Wives

A Groundswell Of Men

During this time, Pure Desire Ministries, founded by Dr. Ted Roberts, hosted an event dealing with porn addiction. It was at this event where Nancy first heard about the Conquer Series, a powerful cinematic series that is helping thousands of men find freedom from porn.

Nancy began to run the Conquer Series at her church. The first time she offered it, more than 40 men showed up. Each consecutive group brought more and more men taking that step of faith in the right direction. The light bulb started going off for many of these men. They realized that they no longer needed to be ashamed of themselves because they started to understand that they had a problem with their brain.

Many men were living a life completely based off of struggles they faced in their adolescent years.

Related Article: How These Men Are Getting Over Porn

In the sessions with these men, she would encourage them by reminding them that it’s not like they just fell out of a tree and they are where they are. Maybe their struggle started out as the moral problem of someone else. She told them that having a sexual addiction does not mean that they are bad.

Helping Women

After about a year of running the series, Nancy realized that wives needed help too. She decided to launch Conquer Series groups for wives, and the results were astounding!

For the first time, these women started to understand that their husband’s struggle was not about them though they were dramatically impacted by it. They would learn that, in many situations, the addiction started because of underlying trauma from a personal issue. Through this, wives started to develop empathy for their husbands.

Related Article: How Wives Are Helping Their Husbands Quit Porn

Nancy would help wives begin to set boundaries. She began to ask the wives if they had their own unresolved trauma and what drew them to their husbands in the first place. In all of it, women were learning that they did not face this journey alone.

Because of this approach, individuals started to find healing and marriages were being restored.

Nancy believes that everyone should watch the Conquer Series, mentioning that we live in a pornified world. She believes that it can be so beneficial, whether watching it for yourself, for your sons and daughters, or even for your community.

The Conquer Series is a Life Changing Series that Brings Hope!-Nancy Houston

A Guide To Healthy Intimacy

Nancy now serves as a Director for the John Townsend Leadership program in both New York City and Dallas Fort Worth. She still refers individuals to the Conquer Series groups on a regular basis. Recently, Nancy released a new book, Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy.

In our conversation, Nancy mentioned that it is time to deshame the topic of sexual addiction and begin to create the conversation about healthy, human sexuality.

Related Article: Returning Intimacy To Your Relationship

Stepping Into Freedom

Individuals are wounded in community, and they need to be healed in community. If your church is not currently offering the Conquer Series, I challenge you to get digital access today.

It’s time to get people in groups, get them connected, and let’s start claiming back our lives, our marriages, and our families. The church of tomorrow won’t stand if continued in its weakened state!