How I Went From Addicted To Porn To Helping Others
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Every day, through ConquerSeries.com, we hear difficult and messy stories.
Stories where it seems like there is no hope, like it would be easier just to give up.
But then we hear about how God has interceded and taken those stories and turned them around, replacing hopelessness with hope and where there is death, He brings life anew. This is one of these stories:
Roane & Eva Hunter
Our story is how brokenness met brokenness. We started dating in high school and our relationship was full of drama and chaos. We each had lots of baggage from our families of origin and, as most young couples, were very unaware of how those things affected us. We would fight; we would make up.
We sucked the life out of each other. After our senior year of college, we found out we were pregnant. We wanted to get married, but out of fear and not knowing what to do we chose abortion instead. Not understanding both the short and long-term effects, we thought that was the answer – it was devastating.
We buried our secret and went on with life. But with every fight, the intensity of our secret, the baggage we each brought into the marriage and the damaged emotions came out in rage and anger. We were on a roller coaster in our relationship.
At 20 years old, we thought the answer for all the craziness was to get married; we were clueless. After getting married, we still had highs and lows as we carried this façade. We sought God in the only way we knew how, by going to church.
Full Disclosure
There was no foundation and structure on the inside, but we tried as hard as we could to look good on the outside. We were so good at it we eventually became Sunday School Class Presidents in a very large Baptist church. But we were as sick as our secrets and completely broken.
In 1990, we were living in Atlanta with our two children, when a secret came out that shook our lives. I asked Roane why he was so down and he said, “I have a problem with pornography.”
This was the tip of the iceberg, more was revealed over time – I (Roane) had spiraled downward into full blown sexual addiction – living a double life, and dying on the inside. It started when I was exposed to porn very early in life and it had been hidden and secret since. God knew that the only way for real change to happen was for my hidden life to be exposed and learn to walk in the Light as He is in the Light.
Related Article: Full Disclosure – How Victory Over Shame Comes Through Honesty
I (Eva) was devastated. We’d been married for seven years, and I had never known anything. I felt shocked, deceived and betrayed. Roane felt free. It was his secret to finally confess. As he confessed and sought help, his disclosure re-traumatized me every time. For the next two years we went to counseling. Roane was open and beginning to experience freedom. I was suffering in bondage.
Related Article: The Silent Marriage Killer (VIDEO)
As he embraced a life of recovery and faced his addiction, I became angry with God. I thought when I became a Christian years ago it was life insurance to protect me from pain. It was too much. We eventually divorced.
Learning True Intimacy
For so long I’d been focused on Roane, but I realized I needed to work on myself. Understanding of my own brokenness brought healing. Roane and I eventually reconciled, remarried and committed to the process of healing together.
God’s desire was for us to recover the life He had intended for us to live. We realized He desires us, and He taught us how to desire one another in healthy ways. We learned what real intimacy and emotional connection looked like. That meant no secrets but a real, authentic life.
Related Article: Returning Intimacy To Your Relationship
As we grew closer to the Lord, He put in us the desire to help others who are struggling in marriage and facing the epidemic of pornography in our culture.
Sweet Revenge
We never would have imagined that we’d be together today sharing our story. Today we are both licensed professional counselors as a result of what we have learned and dealt with. What Satan intended for evil God is using for good.
Related Article: How Wives Are Helping Their Husbands Quit Porn
God birthed our calling, mission, and purpose out of the old ruins and now we are able to give back by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. We are able to minister and encourage others that God is with you, He will never leave you and that He is faithful to forgive, restore, and redeem.
We’ve been on this journey together for over 25 years – a journey of healing, a journey of hope, the journey of a marriage from false intimacy to True Intimacy together in Christ.
How To Help Others
If you would like to help those like Eva and Roane who are struggling with porn or infidelity, then get the Conquer Series running in your church!
Many men are finding freedom from porn by following the strategies taught in the Conquer Series, a 10-week, video-based course that provides practical tools taught by Dr. Ted Roberts. Dr. Ted has a 90% success rate in helping men find freedom.
Today, millions of men in over 100 countries have gone through the Conquer Series and are on their path to freedom.
Are you ready to join them? Sign up at SoulRefiner.com.