5 Pathetic Excuses For Porn Use

Those struggling to break free from porn experience shame and the esteem-crushing impact of their ongoing battle with sexual material. In their porn use, they have become experts at secrecy, deception, and lying. They also make many excuses to justify their usage. Especially to themselves.

To truly find freedom, these men have to stop believing these lies. They have to break the denial structures that they’ve put in place over years of porn use. Here are 5 common excuses used to continue using pornography. Perhaps you have used all of them, and probably others as well.

5 Pathetic Excuses For Porn Use

Excuse 1: “My wife won’t sleep with me”

One of the first casualties of porn usage is intimacy with your wife. All the time you spend alone with the images on your computer screen instead of with your wife drives a wedge in your relationship.

Related Article: The Silent Marriage Killer (VIDEO)

Popular speaker and author Matt Fradd asked, “When you stood before God and others, slipped that ring on your wife’s finger, and told her you would “forsake all others,” did you really think that sneaking off to masturbate to digital prostitutes would fit with the spirit of that vow?”

Luke Gilkerson, the author of Coming Clean, explained, “Accept responsibility. Men often blame their wives for not being attentive enough…It may not be her inattentiveness that has been the catalyst, rather it may be a sign of him not initiating real romance and true intimacy in the first place.”

Related Article: Why Your Porn Problem Is Not Your Wife’s Fault

But she is still the woman you loved and chose for your wife. You can restore her trust and desire for you by breaking free from the bondage of pornography.

Gilkerson says,

“Reclaim what pornography has stolen from you. Choose to break the cycle. Choose to stand for intimacy in a culture drowning in illusion.“

Excuse 2: “I only look at it occasionally.”

J.K. Emezi, a Sex and Pornography Addiction Coach, explains that men don’t admit to the amount of time they spend looking at porn. “I’ll only look at this anime porn on Tumblr for 5 minutes. Two hours later and 30 Firefox tabs later, you’re exhausted and disgusted from your porn binge. The time trap always escalates. You play down and attempt to minimize the actual amount of time you know you will spend on porn.”

Related Article: 6 Lies Men Believe When They Struggle With Porn

Men don’t admit to the amount of time they spend looking at porn - J.K. Emezi

Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, the co-founders of America’s Family Coaches, wrote,

“Men who just “look at” pornography have begun the descent down the slippery slope to sexual addiction, and that hurts both them and their wives.”

You may intend just to take a quick look, but you know it won’t stop there. So establish boundaries that will keep you from relapsing back to your viewing routines. Perhaps commit to not using your computer after 10:00 p.m., or some similar step.

Be honest with yourself and admit your struggle with porn will only be won by facing the truth.

Excuse 3: “It’s my business. Nobody needs to know about it.”

This justification is rooted in shame. You don’t want anybody to know about it because you have probably been subjected to shame and rejection since your childhood, and if people knew it would add to those past hurts.

Related Article: How Toxic Shame Keeps You Trapped In The Destructive Cycle of Porn

Terry Crews, an actor and former NFL player, said, “For years, my dirty little secret was that I was addicted to pornography. It really messed up my life in a lot of ways. It was my secret…and that allowed it to grow, and it got bad…I didn’t tell my wife, didn’t tell my friends, nobody knew.”

Related Article: 5 Celebrities Who Admitted To A Porn Problem

Crews added,

“The thing that I found is by not telling people, it becomes more powerful. But when you tell, and when you put it out there in the open…it loses its power.”

That is the great power in joining a small group of godly men who have personally experienced the battle with pornography addiction. They will encourage you, support you, and walk through your struggle with you. It will be hard, but the rewards will be enormous.

Excuse 4: “I look at it because I’m bored.”

Rick Janes of Campus Crusade for Christ wrote, “Pornography carries with it a buzz and an excitement both chemically and emotionally. The attraction of this buzz as a cure for boredom is what brought many of us to our involvement with the material in the first place, and it is what so easily drags us back. It only makes sense, then, that our struggle for purity will involve a battle with boredom.”

It only makes sense, then, that our struggle for purity will involve a battle with boredom. - Rick Janes

“Rather than seeking to medicate or entertain our boredom, we need to cultivate active, creative alternatives. These include creative things, thoughtful things (things that stimulate your mind such as reading or writing), relational things (who you can interact with in order to stimulate social and emotional connections), natural things (what you can do that will put you out in nature), and athletic things (what you can do to stimulate your body, not relax it).”

Related Article: How These Men Are Getting Over Porn

“If we seek to stop the passive late-night web surfing,” said James, “we must cultivate new, creative, active habits to replace the old. Christianity is never simply the negation of a bad habit, but the concurrent cultivation of Spirit and virtue—nature abhors a vacuum.”

Excuse 5: “It isn’t harming anyone.”

Dr. Doug Weiss is a licensed psychologist and a featured speaker in the award-winning cinematic production, The Conquer Series. Dr. Weiss said, “The biggest lie I have heard among Christian men about their sexual addiction is that ‘it’s not hurting anybody else.’ Nothing could be further from the truth of God’s word or His heart.”

He explains, “Your choices when it comes to sexuality affect everybody in your life, either for good or bad. How many of us have felt pain or sadness over our Christian leaders, singers, and speakers when they went sexually astray? They damaged not only their lives but also the lives of their spouses, their children, and those with whom they involved themselves.”

Related Article: How Viewing Porn Is Wounding Your Wife & Hurting Your Family

“We need to rise up as New Testament saints and realize our sexuality is the issue. You don’t get away with a secret addiction to Internet porn, self-sex or adultery…You don’t get away with sexual sin.”

A Tool to Stop the Excuses

It’s time to be honest and admit your excuses are holding you back from breaking free from pornography. The Conquer Series has helped over 1 million men around the world start the process of finding true victory over porn. Contact a local church to see if they are using the Conquer Series and ask about joining a small group. This group will help you identify the excuses and areas of denial that are keeping you trapped.

Although joining a small group is strongly encouraged, you can also use the Conquer Series on your own.

David from Austin, Texas, wrote, “I have been part of many men’s groups and at least three other purity groups. There was a time many years ago when I truly believed I could never be free. Well, that was/is a lie! I joined a local group to watch the Conquer Series to stay free and help those still in bondage. There is nothing else like this program!”

If you’re ready to quit making excuses and instead find a solution, get started at SoulRefiner.com.