Shattered Christianity

A gentleman recently contacted the Conquer Series with a personal story of his shattered Christianity and how he found hope, healing, restoration, and rest. He wrote this story for a local church to consider starting a Conquer Group. He granted permission to share this story in the hope of helping other churches confront this issue.

The Struggle

The gentleman was actively involved in all aspects of Christian life, but his continual lack of sexual integrity and complete fellowship shattered his relationship with Christ. He was exposed to pornography early in his life, and it gradually became an integral, accepted part of his life, even as a Christian. He was aware that he was secure in his salvation, but his daily walk with Christ was constantly sidetracked. He felt desperately defeated and ineffective as a Christian witness and follower of Christ.

The Turning Point

Eight years ago, under conviction from God, he shared with his wife of 30 years the double life he was living. He was in a covenant marriage with her and under Christ, but at the same time viewing porn and allowing masturbation to create a false underworld of fantasy and control. His shattered Christianity became evident and exposed.

Seeking Healing

After admitting his double life, he and his wife immediately sought out safe Christians and places to discuss and work through all the broken places he had created in their relationship. They started seeking with limited, anonymous Christian sources online and followed up with anyone who would just listen and walk with them. However, they found the lack of meaningful help from their church and the Christian community to be frustrating. They felt pushed away, dismissed, ostracized, and abandoned.

The Impact

The gentleman's wife also struggled to find other Christian women who shared her commitment to covenant marriage, in spite of their husbands' betrayal. She was hurt on a personal level by the continuing lack of easily identifiable, confidential, available support in the overall Christian community for wives who have experienced this type of betrayal. They realized that this situation was permeating the church, and they needed more support.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33 NASB

Private Infidelity

The gentleman admits that he did not cross the "flesh" barrier. He did not act out his fantasies physically with another person or participate in phone sex or go to online chat forums. Instead, he had private infidelity, fantasy in his head and heart (thought-life) with porn and masturbation. Sadly, he came to know that a majority of Christian men in their current society have this same attitude and thought-life infidelity. He also realized that this had just as deep and devastating an impact on his covenant relationship with his wife as if he had physically sought out prostitutes or an adulterous partner.

Hope, Healing, Restoration

The gentleman shares his story to highlight the power of the Conquer Series and how it helped him find hope, healing, restoration, and rest. He is grateful for the courage that Highland is showing by intentionally offering a place to begin courageous conversations about sexual brokenness. He encourages churches to consider starting a Conquer Group to help others confront this issue and find healing.

"Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden and will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.