5 REASONS BOUNDARIES ARE BIBLICAL

Boundaries are critical to our emotional, physical, and spiritual health. They represent our personal “property lines.” Boundaries define who we are, what we are willing to do or not do, and what we will tolerate. They set a standard for what we value, believe, feel, and need. Boundaries develop identity, self-awareness, and personal responsibility. Setting and following boundaries provides a way to live our lives undistracted, depleted, confused, or insecure so that we can effectively and compassionately love and care for others as Christ loves them.

Boundaries are primarily for the welfare of the person setting them, but a secondary benefit is so that we don’t become complicit in tolerating sinful or toxic behaviors from others. When we do, we are essentially an accomplice and hindering conviction in their lives that leads them to repentance.

In other words, don’t make it comfortable for someone to continue in their sin because of your fear of offending them. Boundaries are healthy all around.

1. Jesus Set Boundaries

There are numerous examples of Jesus setting clear boundaries with his disciples and followers. He never tolerated unrighteous behavior or injustice, as described in John 2 when Jesus overturned the tables and drove out the merchants using the temple for profit.

It wasn’t uncommon for him to remove himself from a demanding crowd and retreat into silence and solitude.” But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” Luke 5:15-16

Jesus also made it clear what types of people he didn’t tolerate and that, as believers, we shouldn’t associate with them.

“But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.” 1 Corinthians 5:11

Jesus set the bar when it came to setting boundaries. We can learn from His example.

2. Reap What You Sow

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:7-8

It hurts to watch those we love face the consequences of their sins. So, we often step in and throw a safety net to ease their suffering. We do it because we don’t like confrontation and doing things that make us feel uncomfortable. We do them no good and cause more harm by not allowing them to reap the consequences of their sins. Love doesn’t enable sin.

Natural and spiritual consequences are a loving discipline from God to save a lost soul. Relationships without boundaries can affect our ability to allow God’s plan to lead someone to repentance. Godly sorrow leads to repentance.

“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10

3. Test Spirits And Judge Fruit

Through the blood of Jesus, we receive a gift to reconcile with our Heavenly Father. God offers forgiveness of our sins through acceptance of His son, Jesus Christ, and repentance. It takes an act of our own will to accept and turn from our sins. Without the act of repentance, there is no redemption. God can pierce into man's soul to see if he genuinely has a repentant heart. We cannot see inside a man's soul, but God has defined a way for us to judge man's repentant heart by the "fruit" they bear in their lives.

He tells us to "test spirits" and "judge fruit." In other words, what's really in their hearts will come out in their actions. A genuine repentant heart is willing to be pruned and tested against the Word of truth. Healthy boundaries test and judge fruits and then limit which unhealthy fruits can affect our mental, spiritual, and physical health. The story of Joseph is a great example of when he tested his brothers. Joseph put his brother’s repentance to the test to see if they really were repentant of their sins before he reconciled with them. Read Genesis 43 and 44 for the full story.

Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” John 3: 19-21

"A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits." Matthew 7:15-20

4. Please God, Not People

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

Setting personal boundaries helps ensure that His will is accomplished in our own lives by keeping our eyes focused on Him and not being overwhelmed by the feelings, actions, or sinful behaviors of others.

The spiritual and emotional dysfunction of other people is not your problem to solve. You can be a loving Christian and offer healthy support to others without being consumed with their demands, needs, and problems. Boundaries protect you from others taking advantage of your kindness or manipulating your emotions. Keep God and his precepts as your focus when you are establishing boundaries.

5. Boundaries Enforce The Righteousness Of God

God commands us to call out sin in another believer’s life. It’s godly, loving, and draws a clear line in the sand on where you stand and what you will tolerate with sinful behaviors. We are to forgive one another, but we are also to require responsibility to one another for our actions. God holds us accountable not only for our own actions, but for the lack of confrontation to other confessing believers who are sinning. When we establish godly boundaries, confront unrighteousness, and freely forgive as Christ has forgiven, we are living out the very nature of Christ.

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you. Titus 2:11-15

Boundaries that reflect God’s laws, righteousness, and love produce healthier relationships, deeper spiritual and emotional growth, and ensure we are being the salt and light God created us to be to help redeem the lost.